By: Hunter Doiron
In my angsty adolescence, I would have
never admitted that my parents were somehow affecting my own identity. I had
found my own friends, listened to my own music, did my own schoolwork, etc.,
and so I would have told you that I was controlling my own identity for myself.
Even though I was learning to form my own self-image and act true to myself, research has found that there is a link between one’s family security and satisfaction of psychological needs to one’s true self behavior as an adolescence (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). This particular study began by hypothesizing that there was indeed a connection between high levels of family security and emotional fulfillment with higher levels of an adolescent experiencing both true-self knowledge and behavior (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). They gave questionnaires to 302 total Israeli adolescents that asked both about their family life, such as marital status of their parents and meeting emotional needs from family, along with questions pertaining to how they viewed their true-self (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). The researchers did find that their hypothesis was correct which means that even though I wanted to follow my own path to finding my identity, I should be giving credit to my parents for giving me a secure and stable home life along with allowing me to experience emotional satisfaction whenever necessary.
Me graduating high school thinking
that I was forming my own identity by myself, but now I look back and see that
my parents were right there behind me always helping me discover my true-self
potential.
The researchers say their goal was, “to
shed light on the construct of the true self during early and middle
adolescence by exploring the contribution of security within the family and
satisfaction of basic psychological needs to these adolescents’ true-self
behavior” (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). Similarly, my goal in this
blog is to share their findings so that you reading this can look back on your
adolescent days and see where maybe your parents actually did help you find
your identity or even where you still wish they would have done better.
Regardless, most of us will be parents one day ourselves, or maybe you’re
already one, so by having a solid understanding of a parent’s role in helping
their children discover themselves, we can all better strive to fulfill that
crucial component of our potential or actual children’s lives.
I’m sure if I ever have kids they will hang out with their own friends, listen to their own music, and do their own school work, but that won’t ever stop me from doing my best to give them the safe and secure environment they deserve to foster their own true-self image and behavior just like my parents did for me.
References
Goldner, L.,
& Berenshtein-Dagan, T. (2016). Adolescents’ true-self behavior and
adjustment: The role of family security and satisfaction of basic psychological needs. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly (1982-),
62(1), 48–73. https://doi.org/10.13110/merrpalmquar1982.62.1.0048
