How your Parents Influenced your Identity

By: Hunter Doiron

            In my angsty adolescence, I would have never admitted that my parents were somehow affecting my own identity. I had found my own friends, listened to my own music, did my own schoolwork, etc., and so I would have told you that I was controlling my own identity for myself.

            Even though I was learning to form my own self-image and act true to myself, research has found that there is a link between one’s family security and satisfaction of psychological needs to one’s true self behavior as an adolescence (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). This particular study began by hypothesizing that there was indeed a connection between high levels of family security and emotional fulfillment with higher levels of an adolescent experiencing both true-self knowledge and behavior (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). They gave questionnaires to 302 total Israeli adolescents that asked both about their family life, such as marital status of their parents and meeting emotional needs from family, along with questions pertaining to how they viewed their true-self (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). The researchers did find that their hypothesis was correct which means that even though I wanted to follow my own path to finding my identity, I should be giving credit to my parents for giving me a secure and stable home life along with allowing me to experience emotional satisfaction whenever necessary.

            Me graduating high school thinking that I was forming my own identity by myself, but now I look back and see that my parents were right there behind me always helping me discover my true-self potential.

 

            The researchers say their goal was, “to shed light on the construct of the true self during early and middle adolescence by exploring the contribution of security within the family and satisfaction of basic psychological needs to these adolescents’ true-self behavior” (Goldner and Berenshtein-Dagan, 2016). Similarly, my goal in this blog is to share their findings so that you reading this can look back on your adolescent days and see where maybe your parents actually did help you find your identity or even where you still wish they would have done better. Regardless, most of us will be parents one day ourselves, or maybe you’re already one, so by having a solid understanding of a parent’s role in helping their children discover themselves, we can all better strive to fulfill that crucial component of our potential or actual children’s lives.

I’m sure if I ever have kids they will hang out with their own friends, listen to their own music, and do their own school work, but that won’t ever stop me from doing my best to give them the safe and secure environment they deserve to foster their own true-self image and behavior just like my parents did for me.

References

Goldner, L., & Berenshtein-Dagan, T. (2016). Adolescents’ true-self behavior and

adjustment: The role of family security and satisfaction of basic psychological needs. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly (1982-), 62(1), 48–73. https://doi.org/10.13110/merrpalmquar1982.62.1.0048